Hello, and Happy 2016! I can't quite believe it is officially 2016 - 2015 where have you gone?! When I was writing this post I didn't actually realise 2016 is a leap year, until I saw a very helpful picture on weheartit while looking for some stock images for this post. So we get an extra day to make this year count, which is rather wonderful, don't you agree?
While I can't say I'm sorry to close the chapter of 2015, I will take with me all the lessons I have learnt into 2016. I feel this is going to be a good year for me, my goals and my life with Fella. 2015 kicked my backside, and challenged me constantly, but it also taught me that it is okay to fail at things, it is okay to take the time that you need to heal. It also taught me that even my tolerance has a breaking point, and to purge each and every single negative and poisonous aspect from my life, and move on with a brighter outlook.
1. No more Snooze button. I am a multiple offender of hitting my snooze button in the morning, leaving myself very little time to get up and ready, to the point where I leave my home like a tornado, leaving a wreck in my wake. This leaves me feeling quite rushed, and definitely doesn't help with my anxiety. I moved our annoyingly loud alarm clock into the bathroom, which means I have to get out of bed and go into another room to turn it off. By that point, I've turned on the lights and the worst is over with. My phone alarm goes off about 5 minutes after this as an added deterrent to getting back into bed. Is this what being an adult feels like?
2. Have breakfast every morning. I used to be so good at ensuring I had a hearty meal at the start of my day, but somewhere along the line, as my wake up time became earlier and earlier this dropped off. I need to take better care of myself and ensure that I am setting myself up for the day in the correct way. Since being back to work I haven't missed a single breakfast, and I really do notice the difference in myself already.
3. No electronic devices after 9pm. This is something I thought I would struggle with a lot more than I have done. I am a repeat offender for going to bed and being on my phone or tablet until the early hours of the morning. No wonder I was such a zombie. I've only broken this rule once so far, and although I am disappointed in myself I still have time to get on top of my game!
4. Be in bed by 10:30pm on work nights. I have to be at work for 8am, and I have a long day, and have an impossibly awful train-line to grapple with before I even get to work, so it is essential that I get enough sleep. A minimum of 8 hours to be precise. Again, I haven't completely stuck to this as of yet, but when I have I feel better for it,
5. Create content I am really proud of. I started doing this last year, and I would like it to continue into 2016, not just on this blog, but also in the form of a YouTube channel where I can focus on historical fiction in different ways, whether it be talking about a book, or a film adaptation.
6. Get a new header design that is more of a reflection of this space, and what I'm about.
7. Enjoy our wedding planning. Our venue is booked, or date is set. I have found THE dress and my bridal party has been confirmed. All great positives that will ensure that I have the best year of wedding planning.
I've spoken briefly about my struggle with anxiety in my recent posts. Truth be told, I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this information, but it has become such a part of me and my life I had to address it. I thought it was getting better, I thought I was getting better at managing it.
Two weeks ago I suffered a major relapse in the form of the worst panic attack I can remember ever happening. I'll set the scene for you. Monday morning, the trains are delayed. Fellow commuters are grouchy, and the delays mean that when the train eventually does arrive it is busier than usual. This is not usually a problem. I don't remember feeling particularity anxious about the journey. In fact, I don't remember thinking about anything specific at all.
It's no secret that Autumn and Winter are my favourite time of year. The crisp chill in the air, the crunch of leaves beneath booted feet, all the while wrapped up in a voluminous tartan scarf sipping on a steaming cup of Lady Grey - what's not to love?
